It's not even that I'm searching for the thrill...
It's as though the thrill and I are like north and south poles of a magnet- we just collide. The thrill is my love, the thrill is my life.
If I ever were to want to collide with anything, it would be a train or thrill. Being in college has taught me to embrace whatever comes, because whatever comes is never expected. And whatever is expected, never comes. Life has taught me to never expect. What's the point? There is none. The thrill is something that if I don't have it, it's as if I am living for absolutely nothing at all. It's the oxygen to my lungs, it's the morale of my being man....
At times like this when I lack the thrill, I just feel like doing the extreme, no turning back. But I don't know why I don't. Something stops me. Living for the thrill is not an easy lifestyle at all- it's anything but "easy." It's the same as living as a drug addict, really. I constantly need it otherwise I'll just stop one day and collapse. Collapse and never return the same again. This is how I feel now. At this very moment, I feel like if I do not do something thrilling and continue living amongst bores, I will explode.
