Dose of Pure Conceited Ecstasy

Warning: If you are not ready to start feeling like you are on an ecstasy-like mode of self-confidence, come back another time.

Okay, so step one on feeling this incredible high is to forget all bullshit. "Bullshit" refers to anything and everything. Your friends, family, professors, classes, assignments, text messages, social media, work schedules, etc. It seems like a lot, and it is, but just try extremely hard to forget all of it. 

(Dude, if you cannot forget 100% of everything above, it's understood, sometimes it is so hard to put oneself ahead of everyone else. Especially, for me, I tend to cater to others before even thinking one bit of myself- just try to take this drug of pure conceited ecstasy.)

Step two: Accept the negatives.

When I take pictures of myself or of anything, I tend to look at all of them and examine all of them, ultimately, the ones that are not up to par with what I would like to see, I simply accept them and my finger glides over the trash can and I delete them without even realizing I have deleted them. 

As parallel to that, my thoughts act the same way. My "flaws, bad pictures, negatives" are so easily looked at, examined, observed, and then accepted and deleted. Now, this does not mean I am erasing my flaws, they just do not remain flaws to me any longer. 

I begin thinking, "so what?" Like I have wide hips, "and?" I am controlling, "so?" I am heartless "your point is?" Like tell me something I DO NOT know sweetheart, because every negative comment anyone has to say about me is not by any means "new" or a "surprise." 

Life is like after watching Wizard of Oz and for the rest of one's life, it is known and acknowledged that the damn wizard is behind the curtain the entire time. 

Sorry, accept that YOU are behind the curtain of your flaws, not anyone else, but YOURSELF.

Now for something more on the "brighter side", step three:

Fall in love... With yourself.

I find it funny, hearing from women seeking a partner say things like "I just want to fall in love with the perfect guy!" Hahaha I'm sorry to say, but how could you ever WANT to fall in love with a guy who you will expect, to love you equally when you do not love you fully?!?! That makes no sense at all. What you all NEED (guy or girl) is to boost yourself up. Start loving YOU. Go into dressing rooms, try stuff on, find something that YOU think looks hot, DO NOT TAKE A PICTURE AND PUT IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA (we are all guilty of this) for the favorites, likes, and comments. Stare at it, stare at YOU. Like god damn, sexy, you are killing it! 

Look, I am not trying to be a party pooper or anything but if you do not love you, nobody will, mark my word.

Love is just like ecstasy, the more you give to yourself, the better you will feel. 

(Just make sure you do not give yourself actual ecstasy, that will just make you feel like a mess.)

Use your mind, upgrade to a better, newer version of you, make things right with yourself. Be humble, stay true to your soul. 

A new post will be up next week- it will be a "keys to happiness" post. 

My Twitter: @BhumikaJ_

Born in the Wrong Era

I LOVE oldies music. I could imagine myself sitting at a bar or lounge, sipping on an extravagant alcoholic drink and just relaxing, meeting new people and vibing to the amazing environment.

Ideal setting: New York City.

 Here's just a list of songs I randomly put together including my fave "ideals". Basically, this is music I could listen to at any time and feel comfortable.

1) "In the Mood"

By: Airmen of Note

2) "Sweet Pea"

By: Amos Lee

3) "Stand By Me"

By: Otis Redding

4) "La Vie En Rose"

By: Louis Armstrong     (any song by Louis Armstrong, for that matter)

5) Absolutely any song by Frank Sinatra. 

6) Any song by Nat King Cole. 

Meditation

This is a series I’m going to do, briefly explaining what goes through my mind after a meditation session. Basically, this will explain how I think and what makes my mind what it is. (Not everything, obviously, but a little something to give readers insight and perhaps, promote/encourage meditation).

It really is crazy, this whole living thing. Sometimes I do not even feel like I am alive.

To be completely honest, I am entirely ready for my funeral. Not even one bit worried. It will be the biggest party of whatever decade it happens to be.

From time to time, there is a sudden realization I get of the world and all living things on it. It may sound insane or just insanely brilliant, you be the judge.

This is what I see-

Nothing but bliss.

This is what I feel-

Nothing but bliss.

I feel like there is nothing stopping me from anything at all. No force could conquer my energy.

Then, on a completely opposite spectrum, I feel like I am being crushed.

Feeling all of this at once is a bit overwhelming and overpowering.

But it was absolutely thrilling.

Meditation does a lot of things but the thing it does for me the most is, it leaves me confused.

Being confused is something I am not really so familiar with.

However, this confusion was the best unknown mental occurrence. My mind was erased for moments which felt like lifetimes and I had to figure everything out, given a limited time…

Hypocrisy is the best policy... Again

It's strange because I came to an ex-friend, if you will, and just realized what a true hypocrite they are.

How the fuck does one claim to be incapable of hatred after saying the three most cruel words, "I hate you"? 

Hahahahaha that's some rotten fruit quality. Hypocrisy is something I hold near and dear; it's something that I cannot really forgive but it is also something I am willing to help others stop doing. I can forgive it if it is not done by someone who says they are "not a hypocrite", meaning that they are. 

A message to all hypocrites:

Please try to find someone or something that can help you. I am always open for listening and helping others come up with a solution.

I do not judge. I simply observe and declare the truth- the truth is always going to be bitter.

I am more than happy to give my time to those who just want to be better- as my goal has always been to give others the world. 

Random Retrospect ||

It felt so surreal here, man. It felt haunting and empty and as much as the emptiness of vast nature scared me, it compelled me to believe that no matter what happens, I will always be on my own. To accept that was challenging and I teared up every mountain peak I went up. The view at the top has to make you cry. Everyone is afraid of being alone, I admit, so was I. But after some time, each peak and each setting of loneliness became familiar and "homey." I felt serene. I felt at peace. I felt as though there was really nothing to worry about in the whole world. Finally, I realized- what creates that sense of peace, serenity and bliss is loneliness. After putting that key in the lock- my thoughts were changed.

I had just found bliss.

My Love Is Work

I never was a fan of attention.

Never have wanted all eyes on me or any of that jazz.

I've always only wanted to be happy.

Attention does not equal happiness. Being recognized and "claiming fame" means nothing to me. That is just simply not my goal. As a designer it may seem a bit odd but I never got into the whole "I want everyone wearing my stuff" line that I hear in fashion school. It is not about how many people like it but more about who likes it. I want people to wear and treat my clothing as works of art. I am not trying to go into mass production. Nor am I trying to have my dress on the cover of Vogue. I am simply trying to create something new, something worth the wait, something so outstanding that it will catch people's genuine attention. 

Rather than marketing my apparel by hiring the trendiest celebrity name to wear my garments, I want for people to see my garments on a blank mannequin and just be drawn to it instantly. 

I do not need attention man, it is not necessary for me. I know that my work is great. The visions I have and the effort I have put, along with the good karma I have raised only empowers me to ride against the generic wave. 

I get so many ideas and so little of them are known by others. My family, my friends, nobody is aware of what is constantly going on in my mind. I do not need them to. For what? So that I can have eternal support? No. I am not looking for attention out of obligation. I am looking for true amazement. I do not expect anyone to like what I create or to dislike what I create. The opinion of that is on them- upon seeing what it is I have to create.

My love is work.

Random Retrospect

As many of you may know, I am not so fond of being on my phone. I am not Twitter famous, I do not have a Tumblr or Instagram. My Facebook is made for family and close friends. So I never really get the chance to scroll through my phone (pictures, texts, contacts, etc). So when I do, I guess I just now decided to simply post some interesting pics from my past.

 

I don't know- it's random but it's cool.

Smiling for me. 

Yup, I was mini- Lilo. Ohana.

Retail therapy is very much a thing.