The Plea, Please Listen

Is life worth the fight? To live?

In my honest opinion, unless the whole world is my friend, I do not think fighting to live a happy, blissful life is worth anything. I've always tried to be the best I could be.... Sometimes I end up taking long naps in hopes that I will not have to wake up.

Sometimes I think of how I could push myself to a limit that I would collapse. Unfortunately, I never succeed- I always end up waking from the naps or finding a better path. Even though most of those times, I don't need to nor do I want to.

All I want is for the world to become a happier place. 

If I could have one wish, it would be to allow the entire world's pain, burden, and agony become my own. That's it.

I feel as though I can mentally, emotionally, and physically handle the pain of the world- even if it means undergoing more pain than that of this so-called "Hell" itself. Just give me the pain and spare giving it to others. God, if you really do exist, never give me a wish- I don't need for my loved ones to see me in the pain I wish for as much as I want to absorb the pain of the world so that the world doesn't have to absorb pain.

I just need for the world to be a happier place. 

That's it. 

Weekly Replays

Just an unexplainable favorite, the music and the mysterious meaning is so encapturing.

An oldie but a goodie. Classic. Sets my mind free dude.

I prefer the Sinatra version over any other, any day, but his voice gives a seemless, fresh vibe.

Another oldie but a goodie. If you vibe to Foster the People, I can indeed vibe with you man.

Rules of my Life: Vol. 2

1) Do not have time to give a shit.  

2) Stop thinking twice, it's a waste of time.

3) Time is the most precious thing one has; every moment, every memory must last only within the minute it is created, reminiscing on the past is a waste of enjoying the present and fulfilling the future.

5) Get to the point where your mind is one step ahead of your soul.

6) Control is the key, deem it.

7) Good music= good day. Bad music= bad day. Simple.

8) Always have an intelligent opinion regarding relevant ideas, being neutral is in fact, considered "settling" and quite frankly, dumb.

9) Be witty.

10) Exceed expectations.... I mean your own, screw what everyone else expects.

11) I get more done when I put in less effort to get things done.

12) But if you have not listened to a full Michael Bublé or Frank Sinatra album, have you ever listened to good music?

13) Stop trying to figure out this never-ending mess of a world, let the mess unravel itself to you.

14) "Love is all that I can give to you"... And I don't even have that.

15) The creation will never match up to the creator.

16) Perfection does not make perfection. Mistakes make perfection.

The Aftermath

So I guess this is it, right? Life and I and me and life. That's all there is. I'm in college now and being four hours away from home is a short and I wish oh so much that I could run that distance without dying but I cannot. 

All my life I have wanted to be where I am now and now that I am here, I want to be somewhere else. Weird, right? All my life, I wanted to be on my own and left alone to do my own thing. Now that I am in Miami, I feel like I want something more but I don't even know what that may be. 

Oh right, I need success. Every morning upon waking up I sense it in the air, waiting for me to breathe it in. Once I breathe it in, I will be on some type of trance- success is a drug, in a sense. A very rare one. Everyone wants it. Nobody has it. A few souls need it. So they find it and attain it.

This week is Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in Miami and yes, I will be attending some events and shows. I am working backstage with models and front of the house this Friday at the Wildfox event on South Beach. Security will be pretty tight so I am not exactly sure if I will be able to bring my phone in or not. The event is at 8PM  to "no time limit." Soooo I guess I will not be sleeping much that night. But sleep is for the weak 

and one thing that has quickly become my daily mantra is that the only thing standing between me and success is the bullshit I tell myself as to why I doubt attaining it. 

The Common Things

You can never ever call something "the best" until you've seen it's worst. I never thought my future could have some major downs. But it does. However, I still think it will be the best because it will be whatever I make it to be. There are lots of common things that will definitely be left out of my future, things that would come as top priority to others. Such as friends, love, creating a family, pretty much everything that is the epitome of "happiness" in the eyes of those who depend on everything but themselves for it.

My idea of happiness? It's simple, but yet so complicated to those who follow simple.

The ideal bliss would be everything that is not common:

1) Giving people everything that I have ever owned. Whoever needs it.

2) Make people happier than I have ever been so that I can create happiness because to me, it is not about attaining happiness. It's about creating it, and how much a single soul can create- and how long that created happiness actually lasts. 

3) I need to be alone. Like completely. Not the cat lady stereotype, of course. I'm thinking more like the unattainable, sophisticated, classy, ruthless when it comes to reality and absolutely independent woman. I already have some traits down so it's just certain things I need to obtain. 

4) Mentally, I want to be on top of the world 24/7. (Physically too, actually, because I plan to make the trip up to the summit of Everest before the age of 30.)

These uncommon things that remain in peoples' minds until they start to blame age and start doing the common things is something that I vow to my life, I will not do it. At all. Ever. Life is too empty to be wasting time trying to do common shit that is done on a daily basis. Time for the uncommon to take over.

Life Tests

So to put this whole entire trip to the Canadian Rockies in a nutshell- it was a beautiful test of my patience and my life.
First, the journey TO the beauty was so far out and ridiculous. We woke up at 4:30AM to leave for the airport, and when we arrived, we were informed by a Jamaican lady that our flight had been cancelled. She told us with a smile and her eyes looked as if she hadn't slept for weeks, with an attitude in her voice as if we were going to kidnap her children. Okay, we thought, flight cancellations happen all the time- they'll just re-direct us through a new flight at a different time. Our original flight was scheduled to depart at 7:30AM and so as we stood in line for a good hour and half- we finally were booked on another route which would depart at 8AM and go to New York (JFK). Naturally, I was super excited upon hearing this because anywhere near the Big Apple is a happy place for me. Also, having been to JFK before, I knew that the city skyline was clearly visible at the gates. As we got onto our flight to head to the city that is actually alive and has it's own presence, I noticed a a furthermore delay in our trip- we would have to stay in New York for five hours before our next flight was scheduled to depart. FIVE HOURS. In NEW YORK. If you're reading this and you do not understand where my excitement to be in New York within visible distance of the city is coming from, I do not really understand what your life is all about, dude. Anywho, the minute we landed and I glimpsed at the magnificent skyline, I got an adrenaline-rush. Immediately I looked for an authentic New York-styled pizza. Found it. Got it. Ate it.
Now what to do for the next four hours? That can easily be answered- explore. My mum and I went through all the shops, the mini museum gallery, all of that jazz. After a hour and half of doing that, we decided to go to our proper gate, which we had been misinformed about in the first place. We were told that our gate was 31 and then we asked when the plane was boarding the lady at that counter said that we had the wrong gate and ours was in fact located in an entirely different terminal. This is where the test of my patience begins.
We ran. More than the wind. Finding the correct terminal itself was a huge problem. To add on to that, when we reached that terminal, we had to go through security once again. And THEN we were told that we were at the WRONG TERMINAL. This moronic old lady who should have been at some sort of Shady Oaks Retirement Home told us our flight was to arrive at the gate which we just came from. Again, we ran like the wind once again..... THEN WE WERE TOLD TO GO BACK. At this point, I was ready to cry from frustration and I bet that I looked as if I was anyway with all the sweat. But I resisted and went to our flight Services and demanded in the rudest way possible to check where the hell the damn plane was supposed to be arriving. Indeed, it was scheduled to the terminal which we were headed towards in the first place.
While in line for security with like 8 minutes till our plane took off, I was trying so incredibly much to not shed tears. THEN- this man standing and checking passports thought he ran the entire damn airport and had the audacity to tell me that my passport was "invalid".........
Was he out of his damn mind?!?!?! I used the SAME PASSPORT to get from Orlando to NY and this son of a bitch is trying to tell me that all of a sudden, it's invalid? Hahahahaha... All I could do was laugh. I laughed so hard I cried. Then I cried. Like really cried. The people behind me probably thought I was an escaped species from the Bronx Zoo. I gathered composure as my family's name was being called all around the airport via intercom to report to our gate, as our flight was ready for departure. I told the dude "Sir, if my family and I miss this flight, are you going to pay for our trip?" He looked at me, then at my passport, flipped to page 3 and said "Sign this and go." I had no questions. I just did it and left.
To mentally cool off on the five hour plane ride, I meditated.

The trip was indescribable with words because not even pictures do this place justice, forget words. If you would like to look at some of my favorite pictures I took, follow me on Twitter: @BhumikaJ_