Too Much to Care

It takes a lot for me to care about something. I to this day, do not know what to care for or how to care for it. I really do not think anyone, for that matter, actually knows what the heck they're talking about when they say they "care" for/about something. It just doesn't make sense to me. Why and what is that? Caring, I mean. To me it's a complete foreign subject/matter. Does caring mean to be willing to die for anyone? Or is that just stupid? Is caring a way of expressing how much you adore someone's presence? Or is that just cheesy? See, "caring" is a misconstrued verb meaning "to care for" but it fails to acknowledge what care even is.

Some people may think that I am the stupid one, as when I looked up the word "care" I found myself reading a bunch of bullshit. It's completely confusing. this world, honestly. I know that I am way past the stage of "discovering myself," there is nothing left to discover. The world, however, will always add on new things to discover.
That's it- the people inhabiting this world will never truly understand themselves because they fail to wonder and answer what seems to not be answerable.

(By the way, yes, I have found out what care is, I have indeed answered it for myself. This post has been saved as a draft for several months now and I made myself answer what "to care" is before posting this. Now see if you can answer it for you.)

Feeling of Numbness

Empty.

That is the feeling of absolute numbness. Empty of touch, empty of confirmation, empty of sense, empty of everything.
Recently I guess I have diagnosed myself with "numbness."
To be numb, as in physically, I know it literally means not being able to feel. However, I feel as though for me, it has taken a different form- it has become more of numbness to feeling, a numbness to emotion, a numbness to everything except for physical touch or pain.
The craving for thrill lives within me now more than ever, because I went skydiving- perhaps one of the most craziest thing I have done to this day in my life. The thrill is a parasite, I swear. And only a few get infected- and those few who do are perhaps the luckiest bastards on this planet (yes, I am being vain and no, I absolutely do not give a shit).
Emotion levels decreasing- thrill levels increasing. This is actually a pretty good stage, not going to lie. Maybe the lack of emotion influences and forces me to go after satisfying my thrill craving.
Whatever this "numbness" is, I think I am very content with it.
Do not be afraid to embrace "numbness," it will not hurt- I can confirm that from my own experience. Making numbness a part of me is what I have been doing for years- the balance between numbness and thrill is what I have needed. Now that the scale is even, I guess I can very confidently state:
I am completely content and happy.

The Need is Real

It's not even that I'm searching for the thrill... 

It's as though the thrill and I are like north and south poles of a magnet- we just collide. The thrill is my love, the thrill is my life. 

If I ever were to want to collide with anything, it would be a train or thrill. Being in college has taught me to embrace whatever comes, because whatever comes is never expected. And whatever is expected, never comes. Life has taught me to never expect. What's the point? There is none. The thrill is something that if I don't have it, it's as if I am living for absolutely nothing at all. It's the oxygen to my lungs, it's the morale of my being man....

At times like this when I lack the thrill, I just feel like doing the extreme, no turning back. But I don't know why I don't. Something stops me. Living for the thrill is not an easy lifestyle at all- it's anything but "easy." It's the same as living as a drug addict, really. I constantly need it otherwise I'll just stop one day and collapse. Collapse and never return the same again. This is how I feel now. At this very moment, I feel like if I do not do something thrilling and continue living amongst bores, I will explode. 

Lifestyle No. 2

Put that behind me. 

ॐ

Living is Risky

There's something wrong. I can feel it. I don't know what it is, or why the feeling is even there- but whenever it haunts me, it's the worst thing. I cannot understand it. I feel like I'm dying. In a way, I am though, we all are... We are essentially just living to one day stop existing altogether. 

I do not fear death, I fear living. Living is waking up everyday so happily and so comfortably to one day just wither away- off into wherever, or even worse, nowhere at all. It's not that I sat no pondered this, it's pretty obvious and I'm sure I'm not the only one who has come to this realization. However,  I see it as a positive thing. There is a method behind madness, and life itself is a huge mad mess that we all have been summoned to figure out and endure. I think I've got it down, or I've got down what works for me, at least:

Let me just start off by saying, tomorrow I have a scheduled MRI test being done. Why? I may have some chronic type of disease that runs in the family  and is hereditary, there is no cure, and my great uncle passed away from it at age 35. My grandfather passed away from it at an early age as well...

Life is scary and living is a risk because tomorrow is not guaranteed and I my die in my sleep tonight, who knows. I try to see this as a literal reason to follow the infamous, but mad "live everyday is if it were your last." One day, it will be my last, and I will not even know it. 

It is so important for me no to regret things that are "done" and to only get done what I need to get done.   

With a limited time, every single thing in life becomes a due date. As the rush to get things done is flowing and irreplaceable time is ticking, I just need to remind myself that life is not school, there are no fucking due dates. Goals are not assignments, they are achievements meant to be achieved when deserved. Not when I think I'm ready to win the Nobel Peace Prize or a CFDA Fashion Award, but when I have worked my ass off and deserved to win it, I will. 

The weak believe that they can chase success.

The wise know that success chases their efforts. 

Let the Uncommon Takeover

You can never ever call something "the best" until you've seen it's worst. I never thought my future could have some major downs. But it does. However, I still think it will be the best because it will be whatever I make it to be. There are lots of common things that will definitely be left out of my future, things that would come as top priority to others. Such as friends, love, creating a family, pretty much everything that is the epitome of "happiness" in the eyes of those who depend on everything but themselves for it.

My idea of happiness? It's simple, but yet so complicated to those who follow simple.

The ideal bliss would be everything that is not common:

1) Giving people everything that I have ever owned. Whoever needs it.

2) Make people happier than I have ever been so that I can create happiness because to me, it is not about attaining happiness. It's about creating it, and how much a single soul can create- and how long that created happiness actually lasts. 

3) I need to be alone. Like completely. Not the cat lady stereotype, of course. I'm thinking more like the unattainable, sophisticated, classy, ruthless when it comes to reality and absolutely independent woman. I already have some traits down so it's just certain things I need to obtain. 

4) Mentally, I want to be on top of the world 24/7. (Physically too, actually, because I plan to make the trip up to the summit of Everest before the age of 30.)

These uncommon things that remain in peoples' minds until they start to blame age and start doing the common things is something that I vow to my life, I will not do it. At all. Ever. Life is too empty to be wasting time trying to do common shit that is done on a daily basis. Time for the uncommon to take over.

Surfboard, Sex and Materialistic Minds

Life is unexpecting. I mean, really. One cannot expect to expect and receive identical. There is always a gap between what image was created and what image is truly there. That is the thrill though, isn't it?

Ever since I've moved to Miami, I hardly think about anything but my dreams, my goals, my aspirations. Even when sometimes I feel an emptiness or sorrow feeling, at the end of the day I see a broadway-lit title in my mind which reads "SUCCES." I guess this is just my subconscious reaffirming what I need, to steer away from what I may want. The people I have met are so diverse in every aspect; thinking, dressing, speaking, their ways of living are just all so so different and sometimes I am at a loss for words so I tend to just keep quiet and observe my surroundings- try to take in every sound, every moment, every vibe being emitted and just piece it all together- and be content about it too.

I'm not here to make friends or have fun, that's all a luxury. I do not purposely plan on meeting dudes, giving them my number, talkig to them and having a good time. Nor do I plan stuff like getting drunk or encountering drunk people- it just all happens. 

The title of this blog may have thrown some people off. Surfboards because well, I'm in Miami and Miami beach is a bridge away- so surfing has become a daily routine, sex because well- Miami once again, is known for it's "sexy" inhabitants (although I beg to differ because the cars here, in my opinion, are far sexier than the people) and materialistic minds because I am trapped in a world full of them.

Lifestyle Gallery No. 1

The lifestyle one lives is a direct correlation to the amount of effort one puts in to living it.

Happiness is not within the hands of others, nobody can give it to you or take it away- only you have that power. Trust me, it's the greatest superpower we all have. 

The Plea, Please Listen

Is life worth the fight? To live?

In my honest opinion, unless the whole world is my friend, I do not think fighting to live a happy, blissful life is worth anything. I've always tried to be the best I could be.... Sometimes I end up taking long naps in hopes that I will not have to wake up.

Sometimes I think of how I could push myself to a limit that I would collapse. Unfortunately, I never succeed- I always end up waking from the naps or finding a better path. Even though most of those times, I don't need to nor do I want to.

All I want is for the world to become a happier place. 

If I could have one wish, it would be to allow the entire world's pain, burden, and agony become my own. That's it.

I feel as though I can mentally, emotionally, and physically handle the pain of the world- even if it means undergoing more pain than that of this so-called "Hell" itself. Just give me the pain and spare giving it to others. God, if you really do exist, never give me a wish- I don't need for my loved ones to see me in the pain I wish for as much as I want to absorb the pain of the world so that the world doesn't have to absorb pain.

I just need for the world to be a happier place. 

That's it. 

Weekly Replays

Just an unexplainable favorite, the music and the mysterious meaning is so encapturing.

An oldie but a goodie. Classic. Sets my mind free dude.

I prefer the Sinatra version over any other, any day, but his voice gives a seemless, fresh vibe.

Another oldie but a goodie. If you vibe to Foster the People, I can indeed vibe with you man.

Rules of my Life: Vol. 2

1) Do not have time to give a shit.  

2) Stop thinking twice, it's a waste of time.

3) Time is the most precious thing one has; every moment, every memory must last only within the minute it is created, reminiscing on the past is a waste of enjoying the present and fulfilling the future.

5) Get to the point where your mind is one step ahead of your soul.

6) Control is the key, deem it.

7) Good music= good day. Bad music= bad day. Simple.

8) Always have an intelligent opinion regarding relevant ideas, being neutral is in fact, considered "settling" and quite frankly, dumb.

9) Be witty.

10) Exceed expectations.... I mean your own, screw what everyone else expects.

11) I get more done when I put in less effort to get things done.

12) But if you have not listened to a full Michael Bublé or Frank Sinatra album, have you ever listened to good music?

13) Stop trying to figure out this never-ending mess of a world, let the mess unravel itself to you.

14) "Love is all that I can give to you"... And I don't even have that.

15) The creation will never match up to the creator.

16) Perfection does not make perfection. Mistakes make perfection.

The Aftermath

So I guess this is it, right? Life and I and me and life. That's all there is. I'm in college now and being four hours away from home is a short and I wish oh so much that I could run that distance without dying but I cannot. 

All my life I have wanted to be where I am now and now that I am here, I want to be somewhere else. Weird, right? All my life, I wanted to be on my own and left alone to do my own thing. Now that I am in Miami, I feel like I want something more but I don't even know what that may be. 

Oh right, I need success. Every morning upon waking up I sense it in the air, waiting for me to breathe it in. Once I breathe it in, I will be on some type of trance- success is a drug, in a sense. A very rare one. Everyone wants it. Nobody has it. A few souls need it. So they find it and attain it.

This week is Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in Miami and yes, I will be attending some events and shows. I am working backstage with models and front of the house this Friday at the Wildfox event on South Beach. Security will be pretty tight so I am not exactly sure if I will be able to bring my phone in or not. The event is at 8PM  to "no time limit." Soooo I guess I will not be sleeping much that night. But sleep is for the weak 

and one thing that has quickly become my daily mantra is that the only thing standing between me and success is the bullshit I tell myself as to why I doubt attaining it. 

The Common Things

You can never ever call something "the best" until you've seen it's worst. I never thought my future could have some major downs. But it does. However, I still think it will be the best because it will be whatever I make it to be. There are lots of common things that will definitely be left out of my future, things that would come as top priority to others. Such as friends, love, creating a family, pretty much everything that is the epitome of "happiness" in the eyes of those who depend on everything but themselves for it.

My idea of happiness? It's simple, but yet so complicated to those who follow simple.

The ideal bliss would be everything that is not common:

1) Giving people everything that I have ever owned. Whoever needs it.

2) Make people happier than I have ever been so that I can create happiness because to me, it is not about attaining happiness. It's about creating it, and how much a single soul can create- and how long that created happiness actually lasts. 

3) I need to be alone. Like completely. Not the cat lady stereotype, of course. I'm thinking more like the unattainable, sophisticated, classy, ruthless when it comes to reality and absolutely independent woman. I already have some traits down so it's just certain things I need to obtain. 

4) Mentally, I want to be on top of the world 24/7. (Physically too, actually, because I plan to make the trip up to the summit of Everest before the age of 30.)

These uncommon things that remain in peoples' minds until they start to blame age and start doing the common things is something that I vow to my life, I will not do it. At all. Ever. Life is too empty to be wasting time trying to do common shit that is done on a daily basis. Time for the uncommon to take over.

Life Tests

So to put this whole entire trip to the Canadian Rockies in a nutshell- it was a beautiful test of my patience and my life.
First, the journey TO the beauty was so far out and ridiculous. We woke up at 4:30AM to leave for the airport, and when we arrived, we were informed by a Jamaican lady that our flight had been cancelled. She told us with a smile and her eyes looked as if she hadn't slept for weeks, with an attitude in her voice as if we were going to kidnap her children. Okay, we thought, flight cancellations happen all the time- they'll just re-direct us through a new flight at a different time. Our original flight was scheduled to depart at 7:30AM and so as we stood in line for a good hour and half- we finally were booked on another route which would depart at 8AM and go to New York (JFK). Naturally, I was super excited upon hearing this because anywhere near the Big Apple is a happy place for me. Also, having been to JFK before, I knew that the city skyline was clearly visible at the gates. As we got onto our flight to head to the city that is actually alive and has it's own presence, I noticed a a furthermore delay in our trip- we would have to stay in New York for five hours before our next flight was scheduled to depart. FIVE HOURS. In NEW YORK. If you're reading this and you do not understand where my excitement to be in New York within visible distance of the city is coming from, I do not really understand what your life is all about, dude. Anywho, the minute we landed and I glimpsed at the magnificent skyline, I got an adrenaline-rush. Immediately I looked for an authentic New York-styled pizza. Found it. Got it. Ate it.
Now what to do for the next four hours? That can easily be answered- explore. My mum and I went through all the shops, the mini museum gallery, all of that jazz. After a hour and half of doing that, we decided to go to our proper gate, which we had been misinformed about in the first place. We were told that our gate was 31 and then we asked when the plane was boarding the lady at that counter said that we had the wrong gate and ours was in fact located in an entirely different terminal. This is where the test of my patience begins.
We ran. More than the wind. Finding the correct terminal itself was a huge problem. To add on to that, when we reached that terminal, we had to go through security once again. And THEN we were told that we were at the WRONG TERMINAL. This moronic old lady who should have been at some sort of Shady Oaks Retirement Home told us our flight was to arrive at the gate which we just came from. Again, we ran like the wind once again..... THEN WE WERE TOLD TO GO BACK. At this point, I was ready to cry from frustration and I bet that I looked as if I was anyway with all the sweat. But I resisted and went to our flight Services and demanded in the rudest way possible to check where the hell the damn plane was supposed to be arriving. Indeed, it was scheduled to the terminal which we were headed towards in the first place.
While in line for security with like 8 minutes till our plane took off, I was trying so incredibly much to not shed tears. THEN- this man standing and checking passports thought he ran the entire damn airport and had the audacity to tell me that my passport was "invalid".........
Was he out of his damn mind?!?!?! I used the SAME PASSPORT to get from Orlando to NY and this son of a bitch is trying to tell me that all of a sudden, it's invalid? Hahahahaha... All I could do was laugh. I laughed so hard I cried. Then I cried. Like really cried. The people behind me probably thought I was an escaped species from the Bronx Zoo. I gathered composure as my family's name was being called all around the airport via intercom to report to our gate, as our flight was ready for departure. I told the dude "Sir, if my family and I miss this flight, are you going to pay for our trip?" He looked at me, then at my passport, flipped to page 3 and said "Sign this and go." I had no questions. I just did it and left.
To mentally cool off on the five hour plane ride, I meditated.

The trip was indescribable with words because not even pictures do this place justice, forget words. If you would like to look at some of my favorite pictures I took, follow me on Twitter: @BhumikaJ_

I Love What You Love

A short little poem I came up with while sitting in the car ride from Jasper to Lake Louise.... Basically this is an insight of what I was thinking and all the ideas and thoughts that came with writing this as I looked up at the majestic mountains:

You love class. I love art.

I love creating. You love creation.

You love looks. I love what's in the books.

I love serenity. You love commotion.

You love focus. I love distraction.

I love impossible things. You love reality.

You love to talk. I love to walk.

I love crazy. You love conformity.

You love me. I love me too.

These are some of the pics I took while writing this/thinking/being distracted by the mountains (it's a cloudy, overcast and cold day).

Canada '14

The view is great at the top.

The climb is the biggest struggle.

After climbing up and down so many steep hiking trails and exploring miles and miles on end of pure wilderness, one thing is for sure-  the muscles in my legs are really shaping up. 

Another thing is also for sure; the fact that if there really is "God" then damn, whoever it may be has an amazing view. 

The spiritual part of this journey began at Maligne Lake.... Which is ironic in itself because "Maligne" means "medicine" en Français, and this was definitely a healing part. The lake itself was beyond anything I had seen before... Lined with tall peaks, each peak being unique in it's own way. It seemed to be like a "hallway" of some sort... Then it came to my mind- this is as if I have entered some sort of "Hallway of the Gods." And it really did seem that way. If every God, I imagine, would come down to earth at some point for a "meeting" to discuss whatever Gods' discuss, then each one would be able to sit on top of one of the peaks an the lake would serve as the middle ground. It sounds pretty loopy; however, I found it to be such an interesting, thought-provoking idea.

Amongst many other adventures, walking on Columbia Ice-field is probably one of the most thrilling things I have ever done. Basically, Columbia Ice-field is a huge glacier that sits on the side of a mountain... The crevasses in this field are as deep as the Empire State is tall, and that only applies to the crevasses that are open. One wrong step and down the rabbit hole I'd go, with no coming out. The young Canadian tour guide dude told us that it was okay to drink water from the glacier. Naturally, I was the first to lay on the ground and put my entire face inside the melting glacial stream which was below freezing and get a gulp. That water, man oh man, it was the cleanest and most refreshing thing... I do not exactly know if the water is what was so refreshing or it was the fact that the experience was one that nobody else I'd ever known had gone on. Perhaps both. Whatever it was, that moment was so vivid and breath-taking. 

Speaking of breath-taking, being an asthmatic and all, I made the mistake of not bringing my inhaler and climbing up and even driving up these high elevations was getting to my respiratory system big time. It still is actually, as I sit in one of the grande lodges at Lake Louise Inn. Nonetheless, struggle is strife is success.

I cannot stress how beautiful British Columbia, Jasper, and Banff truly are. I don't think I would ever be able to describe the beauty with words or pictures, it just simply needs to be shown. So if I am ever asked something like "how was the trip?" Or "how was Canada?" I'll simply say, "Go see it." Because that's all I can say, really. I mean I still have a solid five-six days here and I'd like to really gain the full experience.

Update: photo blogs and all that visual jazz will be coming soon. 

Color in moderation

My style consists of pretty much all solid colors. Not that I have anything against prints, I just find solids more versatile on many levels. I also favor textured solids, I love venturing into new solids with different textures such as; woven cloths, chiffon textures, cotton, cashmere, leather, etc. This summer I think the perfect trend seen on Marc Jacobs' Summer 2014 runway collection is the use of colors in moderation.

Looks I've created using this concept:

The suede grey flats compliment the simplicity of the plain white crop-top. This enables for the pale blue skort (this pleated skort style was first seen through Zara earlier this year) to really stand out. On tan skin (the universal desire every summer) this would really stand out.

Once again, using the color in moderation so only the yellow pops. However, the top has an open-knit texture that is completely different from the skirt and is substituted as a pattern.

This would also look dashing on tan skin because the lemon yellow and the open-knit cropped sweater would create an even more tanner look on already tanned skin.

This electrifying coral top is probably the most daring to use through this trend. It has a unique texture and the color is bright but once again, used in moderation. The shorts add personality through the pom-fringe at the bottom.

Who are you? Who am I?

Let's just say, ever since the beginning of this week, my life is starting to fall into a direction that I'm actually content with. Meditating every day, being calm to the point where not even emotional pain can hurt me, forget physical. Soul cleanse, I call it. Forget everything and forgive everything/everyone. I know too well from my years of living to be angry or hold grudges or be anything but positive towards external forces.

A lot of times I think I know myself fully but then I surprise myself by discovering something about me that I've never known. There are a two people on this planet who know as much about me as I do. To clarify, they are not my parents- my parents are basically a part of me, or I am a part of them, literally... So they cannot really count. These two are what make me complete. I've known them for 10+ years and I don't know how much they know about me, but it is either equal to the knowledge I have of myself or their knowledge surpasses my own. From what to say, when to say it, and why it is said to me, they know it all. 

But really, when it comes down to the simple; "who am I?" I do not think I could ever give a full, accurate, complete response. I will only know everything about myself when I reach my end- until then, I am a forever-remaining unsolved mystery for myself...damn, it feels so good too. 

Wrapping this up with: To those who do not know me, never will. To those who think they know me, how can you know me when I don't know myself entirely? 

Do you even know yourself? If not, no need to worry, nobody does. But the more you know about yourself and the less you know about others, the better. It's a sin to your soul to be trying to figure out the whole 24,901.55 miles (40,075.16 kilometers) round world we live in, while knowing little to nothing about oneself. 

The Joy of Art

Art is basically the truth of society, the eyes of the blind world. It is what essentially exposes the perception of the souls who interpret it.

Being able to discuss artwork with a small group of people is the greatest thing, honestly. So much insight and so many different perceptions all coming together as one harmony, as one understanding of a piece. It's extremely difficult (for me, at least) to find people who are also interested in just simply discussing and sharing their own, individual perceptions of a work. 

However, I am so so so very grateful to have a solid 2-4 people whom I can literally just discuss art for hours upon hours of time... These are the people that I plan on keeping for a lifetime; as art lives eternally, I'm hoping that I do as well as my go-to discussion crew haha.

Reflecting on art and grasping others' reflections on art is one of the very few things that I do to bring myself happiness, it's just such an amazing breath of fresh air. The way I see Andy Warhol's Hammer and Sickle is completely different from how someone else may view the masterpiece (in my opinion, type of artistic expressionism is a risk, and every risk results in a masterpiece; therefore, every work of art is a masterpiece.) 

Every brush stroke, every mixture of colors to create a certain shade, every symbol within each creation has purpose- similar to how every word spoken by a soul has meaning. 

Looking at a piece of art is breath-taking in that every detail is noticed and seeing what details I've missed- shown to me by others- is eye-opening.

The Fools' Foolishness

It's one thing to know and another thing to think one knows. 

It's pretty difficult to be oblivious to the obvious, right? Ha. It's surprising how oblivious some soul's can actually be. Here's a list of what fools do (if any of the following seem like "not foolish" things to do, I would be more than happy to be proven wrong):

1) Fools try to figure out the entire world without figuring out themselves. How can one understand the world and how it works without understanding how they work?

2) Fools follow.

3) Fools know what they ought to do but they do not do it.

4) Fools think they are happy, when they know 100% that they are not.

4) Fools think.

5) Instead of solving a problem, fools just simply analyze it.

6) With the intent of assisting others, fools ruin/diminish themselves.

7) Fools claim to not regret, and then they regret that claim for it's falseness.

8) Let's just say, even some blind people notice more than fools do.

9) Fools make foolish choices and then learn zero lessons.

10) The ultimate "foolish quality" is that of not knowing enough and thinking they know more than enough.

Bottom line is, fools are fools and most fools will remain fools until they identitify themselves as fools and open their mind and soul to see the world, not their eyes and brain. The concept of the "soul" is far beneath the subconscious, it's the gateway to the unconscious. One must explore the outer problem first without trying to collect data for the inner problems which are not even comprehensible yet. 

How do I deal with fools? I usually don't, ha. I usually let people make their mistakes; however, when I actually make an effort of providing some guidance, most fools deny it and that is why fools' foolishness is not something I tend to keep. 

"A fool thinks himself to be a wise man, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool." - William Shakespeare

"By the time the fool has learned the game, the game is over." - Bhumika Joshi 

Keep it low-key, dude

I've always been an extreme minimalist- the thought of jewelry or a shoe other than sneakers was just not appealing. Now, I know I can be a minimalist and at the same time be trendy and even make a statement with the simplicity of my style. 

Here are a few ensembles I've created of the extreme-minimalism that still resonates with me but with a touch of my growth in knowledge of fashion and accessorizing- these are all outfits I would and probably will be purchasing for the summer-time in Miami. Notice that all the pieces incorporated into each outfit can easily be taken out and used during a different season.

(Warning: Some if these ensembles may seem a little boy-ish but that's because it's my raw, true style- if the simplicity and class does not appeal, great. I'd love to keep it up.) 

No. 1

No. 2

No.3

Weekly Replays

Revolution-Diplo

This song puts me in such a motivated and relaxed mood- it creates an aura of "who cares what you say, I'm going to do this because I can and I want to." It's honestly such an intense song and the beat is just eargasmic, dude.

 

Giants- Bear Hands

This song has so much meaning hidden within it. Bear Hands never fails to disappoint and put me in a realm within my thoughts- when listening to this it's almost as though I am opening a gate and letting all of my thoughts run wild. This is a common thing when listening to anything by Bear Hands; from Julien to Crime Pays to Giants, it's all completely raw an almost spiritual. 

Boy oh Boy- Diplo + GTA

Diplo has made the list again, I mean he's doing great at what he's doing because he enjoys doing it. That's why it's his career. This track is really energetic and it gives positive vibes towards negative thoughts.

Escape- KONGOS

I mean, the title says it all, honestly. Escaping to this type of music and little bit of all of the above is so blissful. 

Let's Go Surfing- The Drums 

I have always loved this song, it's not too old but it is definitely not the "latest." This is one of those songs that takes me back to raw memories of SoCal and Indio Valley, the beach, the air, the vibes, the entire atmosphere that has nothing to do with anything other than serenity.

(I do not own these pictures)

Pick Palazzo

Probably the most anticipated trend for this summer that I will definitely be sporting in Miami- the palazzo pant. 

The palazzo itself is a loose-fitting, high-waisted, insanely comfortable pant. It is beyond perfect for the summer and the ways to go about styling this piece are truly endless. One could go from day-to-night, from boho-to-profesh, all that jazz. This piece itself is a definite must-have for the summer and I can pretty confidently say, if styled in a proper manner, it can be worn year-round. The palazzo pant is in NO WAY similar to the bell bottom... The bell bottom is a pant with a wide bottom part ONLY. Nonetheless, I will soon be getting my hands on a perfect palazzo and styling it very soon! 

Rants on Rants on Rants

With graduation looming overhead, all I can think to myself is; the light is only as bright as I want it to be. Yes, it may seem as though I will be stuck on my own for a while; the perks to that itself, far out-weigh the cons. I have a one-track-mind for my future ahead and there is no other path in sight for me to even think about getting side-tracked. To those who do not have a particular goal or a plan to attain that goal by now- and back-ups for that goal AND plan- I will see a lot of you mis-spelling my name on Starbucks cups as you take my order... 

This is it dude. If I were completely lost at this point in my life, with no exact or real direction, I do not know how I would sustain a happy life. The word "happy" in my life comes from control- if I do not have that control over things- I will, in result, not be happy and therefore, not live happily.

Now, when I mention "control," I do not mean control of the events that happen on my life- that's all external bullshit which remains there in its place. 

When I mention "having control," I mean internal control- when one has internal control of their life, external control is not even necessary. It's rather simple; be your own drug. Make yourself happy and get addicted, it's okay. The reactions I have to external elements of life directly affect internal reactions- if I think of death as a saddening thing, I will be sad. If I think of the simplest and most natural things in the most positive ways, then I am able to gain control of mySELF. 

I never worry about other people or their emotions, it's all stuff that they are capable of having under control but choose not to- unhappy, angry, depressed, stressed, all of that negativity-filled jazz, has nothing to do with me. I can only show people how to do the right thing the right way, I cannot make them choose to do it like so. 

Unsure

There are some thoughts that we all get but never feel like discussing or wanting to be brought up- thoughts that make us feel like we are having to choose between being accepted or not. My opinion on some of these thoughts as they have occurred in my mind-

1) Who will come to my funeral when I die? 

Well, let's see, it's not a matter of WHO will attend mine, honestly; it's a matter of IF ANYBODY will attend it. Personally, I cannot really say if I expect anyone to come- so far, I have made no major influence or impact on anyone's life. This of course, is susceptible to change and hopefully exponentially. Until then, I wish nobody attends my funeral- go do some charity work instead or something.

2) Why should I care about my appearance? Hm. Good question, I personally only care for my appearance because I have no choice but to wake up to it every morning... Might as well look decent.

3) Money makes the world go round?

Let's just say, even to grow your own food, you need to buy the seeds. Only thing that's free is love- and that's as rare as winning the lottery.

4) What enables me to attain bliss?

Myself. 

5) What enables me to attain sorrow?

Myself.

Little Black Crop Top

An essential piece of seasonal wear for spring/summer is a black crop top. This piece is so perfectly versatile and complementary to any body-type and can be worn at any time of the day (or night)... Simply by pairing the crop top with specific kinds of bottoms can totally alter the entire outfit. As pictured, any type of black crop top with any cut or material will do the job in creating a versatile wardrobe; with just the one crop top, one can create as many ensembles as they may please. 

How to accessorize to switch up the black crop top look according to the different types of aimed styles? Simple. Just by adding a bohemian-style necklace with a black crop top and a bright floral or any bright colored maxi skirt and some nude sandals will create a low-key hippie look.

Dress it up for the nighttime with a pair of black shorts and some strappy colored heels and a chunky statement necklace.

Here are some perfect accessories made for crop tops:

Spring: Splash of color

The spring look:

Crochet knit crop sweater

Colorful/floral/neon summer print

Green jeans

Black stud sandals

Black sunglasses 

The print/boldness of the bandeau can be seen through the cropped sweater; this creates a peak of color in the outfit- it's perfect for the windy days on the pier to sunny days in Cabo- an all-over versatile look that suits everyone.

Lose Yourself on Sundays

Spent the day at a quaint, comfortable coffee shop and enjoyed time to myself. As I lost myself in book of quotes, I found out so many new things about my soul. The soul needs a date with it's own mind every once in a while in order to grow a stronger connection and compatibility.  

Let me start with the ambiance: the music -

Second- the amazing quotes: